Human Resources Employee T-Shirts

"You'll find it on page 46, paragraph 23, clause 18 of your contract under 'any other business'"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Staff support"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'