Human Resources Aficionados Mugs

'Ted, some of the staff are complaining about the naked lady tattooed on your forehead.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Inclusive speech

"I hate performance review season."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."