Human Resource Enthusiast Prints

Employment agencies preference for migrant workers.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Inclusive speech

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'These are job perks.'

Good Luck!

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

How are you at decision making?

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."