Human Condition Commentator T-Shirts

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Virtual Doctor

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

The End Is Nigh. . . Told You

Sports Radio in Crisis

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Sir Patrick Moore.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.