Hr Specialist Prints

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'

'Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems...'

"Your resume is excellent, but your Facebook lacks the imagination we want in a new employee."

'Will you shut up, Sims? I'm busy trying to upgrade my interpersonal skills.'

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'

'Gentlemen, we need new blood!'

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

"We're interested in words, not deeds."

'What I lack in experience I make up for in wildly unrealistic self-confidence.'

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Nobody has seen as many employees and CEOs coming and going as you have, Higgins. How long have you worked here now?'

Motivation: No Recognition, Poor Rewards, Bureaucracy.

To prevent human error, the power station only employed trained seals.

"Hands up anyone who thinks we have a problem with DIVERSITY?"

The Bermuda Cubicle

Unflexible boss.

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Actually, we're just drawing up the short list for that particular job right now. . .'

"We added it just for the millenials."

'Hiring is alright but for a real kick you can't beat firing.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'This firm is committed to diversity -- I have yes-men, si-men, ja-men, oui-men, da-men, hai-men....'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

Termination notice...'Willoughby, you should feel honored to be part of the solution.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"I'd like a 150% rise."

"I really wish you'd come to me first with your problems, Tom, before going on the "World's Worst Bosses' reality show!"