Housing Regulator Pillows

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Homeless count.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Early House Hunting.

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Reindeer must now be fitted with the government approved CZ1 catalytic converter to reduce methane emissions.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'