Houseplant Hero Pillows

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

Monster Plant.

'Look what I've bought-something to nag while you're at the boozer!'

'Couldn't you do that outside?'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Money Plant.

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Thanks

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

What your house plant says about you...

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

House plants

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

House Plant Party

In the houseplant cemetery.

The Houseplants vs The Kids

"You spoil that plant!"

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.