Household Jokester Mugs

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Raised by Dogs

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

Onion operation.

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

'You want to hear me speaking my first word? I don't say anything without my lawyer, mister!'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'