House Hunting Wizard Gifts

"Did you ask the reatlor why it's called the "Dragon's Den"?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Emigrating to France.

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

Home Foreclosed Home.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Realty. Remember

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."