House Hunting Enthusiast Gifts

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

'I think we should keep looking Harold.'

'...also we're very near to the shops, there's a good bus service, the junior school is around the corner, and we have a marvellous Neighbourhood Watch.'

"I didn't realise the Wilson's house was on the market."

'I think we can safely eliminate bungalows from the search parameter.'

"Between you and me, the owner can't unload this fast enough."

"This place, like the last place, has one big window that's also a door."

The Movers Strip - Selling houses over the internet

'Let's have a look inside.' 'It's not as spacious as it looked.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"I'm afraid your budget won't stretch to four bedrooms and a garden, would you consider one bedroom with a shared bathroom and access to a communal alley?"

"One of the perks of this home is that it gets warm or cold quickly."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Emigrating to France.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"