House-hunter Hero Gifts

'It's an exclusive property sir. This is the only one with a price small enough to fit on the wall!'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Mouse real estate!

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Emigrating to France.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Homeless count.

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

House for Sale.

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Great location, new roof, central air, underground storage tanks full of toxic waste, double garage, ceramic tile?"