Hotline Worker T-Shirts

"Impatient jerk!"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Deaths from Coronavirus

Dancing Doctor

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

Prawn Cocktail Please

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

The Suite Hereafter

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Mini Bar

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"