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The Modern Tourist

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Blue Stockings

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

"How?"

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Unabridged Dictionary

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Sick person curled up at home

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

Champagne and Oysters

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Skiing

Custer's last tan.

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

"I really should have paid attention to everything I learned in Kindergarten."