Hotel Adventure Seeker T-Shirts

"Smith, Mr and Mr Smith."

'The last time you were here, your room was trashed.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Remote control pirate bully

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

The fate of the emigrant

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

The experienced backpacker.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Easter Island legs

Tourists

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Beach con-man.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Desert Island Meals.

'Cannonball!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"Look what I found, dad!"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Pirate

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk