Hosting First Party Pillows

Delicate Hopsitality Abused.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Wine Lady

Join me in a Martini?

Party time.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Barbecue

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Join me for dinner?

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Mini Bar

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Let it breathe for an hour, to bring out the best home-truths."

'He's been shot!'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

"I'm hanging tough, guys, but have I mentioned how much I resent you for always making me hold the table?"

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."