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Turkey Blessings

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

"And he's a nutritional-support animal, too."

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"Honey, will you let the dog in? When your 3-Bean Salad kicks in, I'll need someone to blame."

"I smell cranberries."

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"