Hospitality Worker Gifts

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

1999: The customer is always a right pain in the...

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

Coffee Cartoon - Takeaway cup size.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The special is halibut because It's getting kind of old."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Bed & Breakfast

'I never worry about money - I don't have any money to worry about.'

Please take a number if it will make you feel any better.

Mini Bar

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Hey, look! The restaurants are opening back up."

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'There will be an eight-hour wait. Would you like a cot?'

'Morning paper?' - 'No thanks, I like to fetch it myself.'

Coffee Cartoon - Barista makes tea.

"Have you come about the barmans' job?"

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

'Special offer today -TWO for one, sir!'

"I'm in a shared room?! What kind of hole is this?"

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

"I like my steak well done."

"Now what's yours?"

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

"How much are we supposed to tip the guy who followed us to our room and flicked the light switch?"

"I ran out of ice."