Hospitality Worker Gifts

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

1999: The customer is always a right pain in the...

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Coffee Cartoon - Takeaway cup size.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Please take a number if it will make you feel any better.

Bed & Breakfast

Mini Bar

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'I never worry about money - I don't have any money to worry about.'

"The special is halibut because It's getting kind of old."

'There will be an eight-hour wait. Would you like a cot?'

"I'm in a shared room?! What kind of hole is this?"

"Have you come about the barmans' job?"

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.

"Hey, look! The restaurants are opening back up."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Coffee Cartoon - Barista makes tea.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Morning paper?' - 'No thanks, I like to fetch it myself.'

'Special offer today -TWO for one, sir!'

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

"Excuse me, sir. Our phones are down, so I'm here with your wake-up call."

Newbaby lounge