Hospitality Maven T-Shirts

"It's called a tip, not a bribe."

Maid

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Cardiac Recovery.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Non-Drip ?

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"Valet park only"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Opening the Barrel

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Complementary Beverages

With Compliments

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Bed and Breakfast