Hospital Hilarity Appreciator Gifts

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"I stand corrected."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Big slipper.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.