Hospital Hijinks Lover Pillows

'I can't turn it off.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Providing Healthcare For All

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Big slipper.

'Urology...can you hold?'

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'He's got great bedside manner.'

Too much Inflammation

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'