Hospital Habitation Prints

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

The cell phone soother for life.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'I admire your floatibility.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Balloon drip.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'Very funny!'

Saline Drip Sommelier.