Hospital Food Enthusiast Pillows

Nurse filling IV to patient: 'Cilantro.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."