Hospital Environment Enthusiast Pillows

Hospital Queue

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Being Serenading in Casualty

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Big slipper.

"Whoops..."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'He's got great bedside manner.'