Hospital Chic Pillows

That guy was such a hypochondriac.

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Very funny!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Surgery Instruction Book.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

C'mon, Randall, cheer up....everybody dies.

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

Hospital Cleaning.

'I can't turn it off.'

Musical Accidents

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

'So, how's things going at work? We found a boot when we did your colonoscopy.'

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

Brain surgery sneeze - 'Gesundheit...!'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

"You can have a local anesthetic or imported."

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

Hospital Finances.

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Get out of me!'

"Could I get a second opinion?"

'This operation should remove the swelling in your wallet - I mean, knee.'

'Well, we finally figured out what the problem is...your warranty expired.'