Horticulture Pillows

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

Money Tree

"Is this one a flower or a weed?I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

'We're hoping it's a perennial.'

'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'

'Maybe you're telling them more than they can assimilate.'

The lesser of two weevils: "The farmer's worked really hard on his cotton crop. I say we leave it alone."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Plant Fast Food.

"You forgot to record what you planted, didn't you?"

'That plant food really works!'

The Houseplant Cemetery.

Tree to man carrying it, 'plant me there!'

Annuals - Perennials - Eternals

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

"End of February, McIntosh. Time to think about our spring plantings."

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

Garden Goddess.

"Have you been using herbal remedies again?"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Flower growing on a compost heap.

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Two neighbours doing their gardening.

'I bought this from you in August. I've only had it for three months and all the leaves have fallen off!'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'It's incredible what you can grow in a plot of ground that's only one foot square!'

User friendly soil.

"I would love to get my hands on the official who sent him home on gardening leave!"

'That plant food really works!'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'