Horseracing Pillows

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

A tragic misunderstanding at the water polo tournament.

"I never invest in anything that eats."

"Don't you think I should at least get a no-claims bonus?.. None of my horses have ever won!"

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

'You were right when you said that your horse would 'walk it'. He obviously did!'

He's the type that gives racing a bad name!

'Look! You can't have a good time losing only 20p!'

-Psst! Would you like the winner of the Grand National? -No, sorry, I've only got a very small garden!

He failed the drugs test!

I like the look of that 'Trojan Boy'.

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

-Last again! -I had to stay behind the others because I didn't know the way!

I was dead lucky at the races yesterday, I forgot my wallet at home!

"I like the look of the favourite, but he's badly drawn."

I don't know why, but I never seem to win the close races.

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Ancient Racing

"I need to tinkle."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Go! Means NOW!

A day at the races

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

A day at the transgenic races

Bob's Driving School.

Knight in shining Lycra!

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."