Horse Racing Professional Mugs

Rival Jockeys

Man hiring a horse

Jockey's Toilets

A day at the races

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Gentlemen Riders

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Smile

First past the post.

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's