Horse Racing Buff Pillows

The Epsom Derby - Boxing Sideshow

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

'What's founder?'

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'I win!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

Stubborn Horses

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Horse racing puns

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'It's a hybrid.'