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Tom Pinch Starts Homeward with the New Pupil

Fashions

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'What's founder?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

Horse Clean-up

'It's a hybrid.'

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Look! Fat George must be back in town!'

"Billy is not one to follow rules. In other words, he's more likely to succeed in the rodeo circuit then in dressage..."

'Another day another dollar Maurice, but boy do I hate kids!'

Giant Ice Skates

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'