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Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

"You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you a werewolf."

The Scream at the movie theater.

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"How much for just the ring?"

"I've got to go to the hospital next week and have my ghoul-stones removed..."

Hey Doug just out of interest, did you run a reference check on that new guy?

"Bring me a stem cell."

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

Librarian: 'Who is putting all the Math books in the Horror section?'

Vampires Into Stem Cells.

'At last Igor finds a body with the appropriate consent form.'

"It's for panic attacks. Hand them out to people you meet."

'Oh no, not another blood sample.'

'You may see a great creation, Dr. Frankenstein... but I only see a great heck of a Product Liability Problem.'

'You were clinically dead for over a week. Gave us all quite a little scare.'

'According to you records you're actually dead.'

"Down that road lies madness - not that it matters at this point."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

'Flat head, bolts in my neck,... I think at least you owe me a free tummy tuck.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Can you recommend a few scary shows?' Clerk: 'CNN, ABC News, News Hour, MSNBC...'

"Oh, please, please, please don't pick the creepy girls from 'The Shining' before me!"

'Head Down, Eye on the Ball.'

'Your antidote, m'lord...'

"The bedbugs got to me first."

Wolfman riding in the Car

'I can only teach night classes.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

Woman Begins To Sweep Away Her Shadow

What to buy the Devil who has everything?

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

'May I ask what it's in connection with?'

'Uh-oh, here comes the all-nighter crew.'