Hoopsters T-Shirts

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Clubbing

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

Fish Training

Bouncer.

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

Gymnasts

'OK. Sometimes, after games, when I'm all alone? I... I like to dress up in a NBA uniform.'

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

'The nightlife around here? Pretty boring if you ask me Dude: My parents are awake...'

Beer goggles, whiskey binoculars and absinthe telescope.

Man in pyjamas walks into cereal cafe

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

Basketball Halo

'I can't dunk.'

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

'We're counting on you, Luther. The game's to 21, winner's outs... And I hope we don't need to remind you what happens to all of us if you lose.'

'Okay. Let's go.'

"It's a dizzying picture of hip hop, trip hop and bee-bop...."

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

'Keep practicing, Johnson. You have to learn to jump through all of them at the same time.'

'Players treat me with a lot more respect since they found out I'm a retired colonel.'