Homemade Gift Creator T-Shirts

"Papi, for Father's Day, I got you a certificate. I made it myself!"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'I wrapped it myself !'

My latest invention -- "The Comedy Club".

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

He sold appliances.

Last-Minute Gifts

'I thought you said you did ships in bottles.'

'Underground cartoonist'

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

"Betty, I'm dying to see what you've knitted me for my birthday."

Cut out and keep your own Virgin Mary.

'Sounds great, honey. Excuse me wile I go call a bankruptcy attorney.'

Cocktails for dogs

"Which list do you want first, A-L or M-Z?"

Gift Ideas #13

"I didn't learn any more than she did...and my junk worked!"

"It's homemade."

'I always feel you just can't beat something home-made.'

Clancy: Birthday Presents

"Fetch!"

"I'd like your homemade birthday card a lot better if it weren't scribbled on a bar napkin."

Cut out and keep your own Good King Wenceslas.

"I made you a face warmer."