Homebuyers With A Twist Pillows

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

An exaggeration of estate agents

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Mortgages up 'Where?'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

Passer-by see sign in front of house: Buy one, get one free.

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

"Did I mention the view?"

'It has three bathrooms and not one set of scales.'

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

'How interesting, the subdivision's built on an empty mineshaft.'

Ugh! Professional Beggars

"One question: Do the windows open?"

"I just built me a summer home up north."