Home Visits Pillows

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'Next!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'You sounded better yesterday.'

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'You're looking well.'

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

You've got company.

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

I swear that boy has grown another foot since the last time I saw him.

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

Taking blood pressure

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

"This house comes with smart windows. They automatically open when my husband takes his shoes off."

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

Outingpatient

A sign on the highway reads "Grandmother's House - Use right lane".

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."