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Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Interior design trends for parents....

"Hi-yah!"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Fittd shēt

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"There's more inside."

Washing Line Walker

Moving in

Acclaimed mother.

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Family working together

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'Not that slowly back...'

'I've misplaced everything.'

"Please don't interrupt Mommy when she's in her gym slash office slash living room slash cafeteria."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"