Home Renovation Aficionado Pillows

'It was recently remodelled to fit a really big-screen TV!'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Your Home Remodel Team

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Wallpapering with Nails