Home Remedy Fan Prints

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

DIY marriage counseling.

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"Krazy straw"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'