Home Project Guru T-Shirts

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

Do It Yourself: Help Wanted.

"If only Donald Trump knew of your wall-building skills!"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Mulch madness"

Problem Solving

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Handyman's Special'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

House for sale - some assembly required.

Wallpapering with Nails

"Was it a fuse?"

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."