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'How come we never have popcorn for dinner? -- It's a vegetable, isn't it?'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Baking

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Lockdown casserole

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'