Home Improvement Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"How much we talking for a deck?"

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

Translating Contractor to English

"We''ll have to get that leaky roof sorted out"

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

"'Let's buy this place', you said. 'We'll flip it, and make a killing', you said..."

'How's my driving?'

"No, this is not the plumber. This is his chauffeur."

"Yes, mommy is happy you took a bath without me asking. I will be even happier if you turn the water off."

DIY Shelves

'Yeah, looks like you've got soem non-standard plumbing here'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'In retrospect, maybe we should have gone for the smaller fireplace.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'I couldn't fix your electric door bell, so I just replaced it.'

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

'Remember, folks, don't try this on your own!'

"Just buy a new one. It's over 40 years old. That must be about 160 in toilet years."

Berlitz's Learn To Speak Adult

'Health on Wheels' checks the health of a house

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

We tore up the stone, and there was this beautiful hardwood floor underneath!

'I think you might have put that in the wrong place.'

Wouldn't it be simpler just to buy me a clothes dryer?

Building homes.

'Need a reliable way of trying things together? Try super straps for only $19.95.'

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

'The roofer said he will repair it if my check for the new roof clears the bank.'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'The job you found on line is the same one I placed... for a handyman to fix things around here.'

'Honestly, madam, every home should have one.'

Duct Cleaning

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. VI