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Sketchy Real Estate Agent

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

I hear the present owners are splitting up. Four fireplaces and a wine cellar. Better act quick, before they make up.

'Excellent. I'll buy the lot.'

"There had been a little roof leakage, but you'll notice that it has been corrected."

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

'I was looking for tile floors and more closet space, let's keep looking.'

Location Location Location

'I imagine all those they encouraged to overeach in previous series have since relocated to shop doorways.'

Estate Agent Office

'They're playing house.'

"The flat was really cheap, but we forgot to check our the 'rights of way'."

"Dad, there's even a little bath for me."

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

Estate Agents - More & More & More

Harris Reality: We Make House Calls

'I think you'll like this home, Mr. Sparky. It's got the kind of carpet that is great for butt scooting.'

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'I was once a realtor my self . . . the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Whatever you're thinking of buying, we promise to make you feel slightly inferior.

House auction. Door knocker is gavel 'Going, going.'

'I can appreciate your concerns darling, but it is within our price range!'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.