Home Heating Strategist T-Shirts

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'Heating this apartment requires more bread than most people have.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Electric Blanket.

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

Higher Mammals open Holiday Cards.

"You're right. . . Maybe it is time we did something about the office heating."

Chess cleaner

"All our devices are talking to each other - about me."

Mum! I'm cold! - 'Put your jumper on then!' - 'I'm already wearing it!' - '' - 'Mum! I can't reach the thermostat!' - 'Oh, that's a shame, dear.' -

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

Beginning fires for the winter - Something wrong with the chimney.

'Have you considered having central heating installed?'

"What do you mean, 'It's cold, throw another log on the fire'? They don't grow on trees you know!"

"Alexa. Just talk to me!..."

"Firewood doesn't grow on trees!"

Yeah, once again, Mistress missed out on getting the rental property she wanted. The usual issue: no pets allowed...

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

"My smart speaker's not!"

"My computer crashed, and took the TV and the refrigerator with it!"

'For heaven's sake nan, stop worrying about your gas bill and put the central heating on.'

A thermostat Really Well, Mr, Nanavut, that's a new one on me,

"No, Bruce, that's the heating guy."

"Next on Winterwatch, we check in on Mr and Mrs Henderson who are hibernating to avoid putting the heating on."

Heating costs.

'I shall be using my conversation during dinner to announce that I shall be mounting a challenge to your supremacy in the home.'