Home Hazard Investigator Prints

'It's a beautiful home with the exception of a little radon gas."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'I found the termites!'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'The roof needs icing.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

The builder had said there would be some settling after the house was finished, so really the home owners shouldn't complain.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'