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R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Couch and Potato

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

man juggling career, home and children

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

'They're playing house.'

'Love your renovations.'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

Real estate.

Estate Agent Office

'I was looking for tile floors and more closet space, let's keep looking.'

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."

"Why do we need a bigger house. Your folks can barely afford this one."

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

"I can't go out right now. It's cleaning day and my bucket list has a mop in it."

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."