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Pop-up toaster.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

'You won't need a desk since you'll be delegating everything.'

Ikea for Hippies

Burp!

Trying on boots

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

The Cheese God

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Early Goths.

children mistake fireplace ornament for someone stuck up the chimney

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

Man climbing mountain with sink plungers.

"I only told him I needed bedding."

"Perfect! I like a firm mattress and he likes it soft."

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

'He's just been on some course telling him how to get clients to feel at ease...I think he's overdoing it a bit!'

'This must be the place!'

Packaging literally grabbing the attention of shopper

"What do you have that you haven't touched?"

"Admit it - you HAVE been flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies, haven't you?"

Choose joy, Al! If you mean "joy" dishwashing liquid, I prefer "Dawn."