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"Takes all sorts to build a house like that."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Bright Idea

Thinking outside of the box

"Could you keep still?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

An idea box in a shower

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Beyond Dante

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

King Madras

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."