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"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Keyboard in Heaven

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'He's our Spam expert!'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"Dang!! Wrong hole."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

"I keep getting into a flap."

Yoga - moooooooo.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

New! Cell-U-Lite Tellaphone: 'Hmmm! There's something wrong here!'

'Curses on historical perspective.'