Home Chef Hilarity T-Shirts

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'Needs more kale.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

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"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

Intolerant Chef

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Beard helper

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'To cook is to dare!'

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

Ties and Jackets Required.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken.' 'It tastes like chicken.'

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

With Gwen away for the weekend, Dave makes the kids his famous Gummy Worms and Hershey Bars casserole.

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

'I can't wait to tell the vet what a great mouser you are.'

"And remember, no tormenting the cat while I'm at work!"