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'Another Monday morning with me and my incompetent caregiver.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Signs of Stress

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Having It All

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Careful

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Going to the pub with kids...

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."