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"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

Kids make a home messy and loud

Corona Counting

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"I need to know who started it."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Working from home.

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

How men shop for towels.

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."